Okay. Sorry to keep you waiting. But that was kind of the point. I waited, so did you.
When Dr. B did the needle biopsy, it was a Thursday. He told me I'd hear by Monday. It was a long weekend. Life can turn on a dime. Trust me.
Monday, I had plans. My middle daughter was home from Seattle and we were slated to get pedicures, one of our all-time favorite choices for a mother-daughter date. As we headed for the salon, my cell phone rang. It was Dr. R, my GYN. He was very matter-of-fact. "I have your films here. It's an invasive breast cancer. Do you have a surgeon?" I said, "No." He said, "Here's the number of the group I refer my patients to. Call them."
I did.
Which leads us to my meeting on Monday, August 22, 2011, with Dr. F. He was kind, patient, no-nonsense. He wore a bow-tie. I liked him. My daughter came with me as a second pair of ears. She took copious notes. I am thankful for her. My cancer was referred to as "low grade," "T1a," "ER+". I was, as Dr. F. stated "a perfect candidate for a lumpectomy, followed by 6 weeks of radiation and 5 years on tamoxifen." We scheduled it for September 19. I was ready to get'er'done...take a couple days off of work...recover...head back. I was committed to being so GOOD at cancer.
Then, on September 14th, during a routine pre-op MRI, they found two more "suspicious spots." The MRI people called me the very next day (again, that in-a-hurry thing!) and I went in on Friday, the 16th. For 30 minutes, a very kind person ultrasounded my breasts. Silently. All I heard was the "click" of the camera as she took pictures of something. Then she left to get the ACTUAL radiologist. This (also very kind) person proceeded to ultrasound my breasts for another 15 minutes. Though nothing poked me, there was no blood, and I was not hurt in any way, I found this all very invasive. All I thought about as I was being K-Y-jellied, was this: "This will end in a mastectomy. Christie: get mentally and emotionally ready for a mastectomy."
(Is this too much information?) See that little "x" up in the corner of your screen?
FINALLY they told me to get dressed. I did, and they came in to tell me the following:
"On your pre-op MRI, we detected 2 more spots, one on each side. Neither of us could find them today via ultrasound. Instead of doing your lumpectomy on Monday, we'd like to postpone surgery and do another procedure to further clarify what these two new spots are so that you will not have to endure two surgeries."
I agreed. The "another procedure" was scheduled for September 23rd, a week later.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
6 comments:
Waiting is SO not my favorite. I love the way you write even more than I love the way you talk. Thank you for letting me come along on this journey.
I agree with Dawn! Thank you for making me wait:) I love you.
Christie, as always your smile shines through your writing!
It's a journey that He knew and determined every step BEFORE He created the universe. You are the object of His love and that also shines through!
Love you!
Yes, you do speak even more through your writing. Brava!
And I have to totally agree with ol'Ned. Well said.
Christie, you are an excellent writer. I can totally hear your voice in the words. We are praying with and for you as you go through this journey.
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